cross country love

i was not sure until today
that what i did was right
but waking up
next to you
sure makes the day seem bright.

a silly poem because this is too deep to express.
i have just moved from one end of the country to the other to move in with my boyfriend's family and him. it's massively scary and huge, we are starting a whole adult life together. i am scared, but i know love, i am loved, i will be loved, more than i can imagine. it's alright. things will be more brilliant than i can conceive.

i will save myself with love

i love you, but i can only do so much. i could shout across the world how utterly amazing you are but you will only realise it when you are ready. you have so much work to do my darling, i cannot do it for you, i wouldn't even if i could, this is something you need to do alone. we are all on this journey love, alone, but part of something bigger, something that will turn the world into a place made of love and light and pure joy.

nobody can save you but
yourself.
you will be put again and again
into nearly impossible
situations.
they will attempt again and again
through subterfuge, guise and
force
to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly
inside.

nobody can save you but
yourself
and it will be easy enough to fail
so very easily
but don’t, don’t, don’t.
just watch them.
listen to them.
do you want to be like that?
a faceless, mindless, heartless
being?
do you want to experience
death before death?

nobody can save you but
yourself
and you’re worth saving.
it’s a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning then
this is it.

think about it.
think about saving your self.

charles bukowski